Dating with medical condition

I will ask for help when I need it. Yes, there will be times when I do need help with an assortment of things from basic tasks to injections, but let me ask for your help.

10 Things to Know If You’re Dating Someone With a Chronic Illness | The Mighty

By letting me ask for your help, that allows me to keep my independence and gives you the right opportunities to help me. Even down the line when you know your chronically ill partner very well, you will learn when they need help with out asking for it, which will be appreciated because I know you have learned and studied my personal illness so well that you know my body langue and when I need help.

Also, there is a misconception that a chronically ill person will not ask for help. Even though we trust you, we will ask for help even if it comes to the most basic tasks. Dealing with the side effects. Dating a chronically ill person does not just come with an illness and set parameters. There will be side effects mentally, physically, and even from the medications. So when dating a chronically ill person, there will be more than just the illness at hand.

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Such as with me, where my physical illness has given me mental illness side effects such as depression and anxiety. To a non-chronically ill person these can be normal, but if they are a side effect from from a chronic illness they will manifest in a different light. So please, partners, do not downgrade our side effects, and be ready for them because they can affect us as much as our original diagnosis at hand.

When dating someone with chronic illness, there will likely be bad days that will test your relationship. The bad days can be bad for me with such a extreme amounts of pain, needing help with everything, or a bad diagnosis. So as a partner, do not let these affect the relationship because the bad will pass. With these bad days it can make our relationship stronger, so I know if you can sit through this and be strong for me, then I know I can trust you.

By being there when I get sick you can experience what it is like with my illness, and can help me through it. While helping support me, it can be easy and hard at the same time.

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  • So even having you there just to sit with me can help me, make me feel more at home, or take some of my pain. For a non-chronically ill person dating someone with chronic illness things can become really scary.

    Dating with a chronic illness

    However, at times I will need you to be the strong one. Such as when I have a medical emergency, or have an upcoming surgery, I will need you support and you to be the strong one, because again — millions of things can be going through my mind. Also, by you being the strong one, it gives me the confidence to know things will be OK.

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    All of these simple questions can make my day because my partner is keeping my illness in mind, but also my over all well-being, and not just the illness itself. Even little things such as getting my pills out for me when I wake up, or bringing a nice dinner home instead of going out, are little things a partner can do for someone with me.

    By doing this, you are helping with my illness, or making it so my illness is not limiting our relationship. So please, on the days when I feel energized, or can do anything, do not take them for granted. I do not know how many of those days I will have. If only a small number of people know about your illness and prognosis, keep it that way.

    Collaborate with the people who are helping your search on how they can describe you to potential dates and to anyone who might know a potential date. One way to start is: That can open up the door for further discussion. If a number of people outside of your close circle of friends and family do know that you were ill, let your networkers know how you would like them to answer questions they may be asked.

    The answers should be positive, honest, and brief. For example, "Yes, she had medical treatment and worked hard to be where she is today - stable, strong, and looking forward to living a healthy life. Of course, you will have to let the men you're dating know about your situation. Jewish law tells us that this is important information for a potential spouse to have, and is one of the many factors a dater will take into consideration when deciding whether to marry a particular person. A dating partner's ability to listen to and process your information may depend on when, how, and what you say, so it's important to plan your disclosure carefully.

    Many people consult with a rabbi who is accustomed to giving advice on health-related issues to find out when they should bring up their medical conditions. While we can't substitute our understanding with that of an authority on Jewish law, we know that many daters are told to wait until they've had a certain number of dates, but before they developed a strong emotional connection.

    This gives their dating partner an opportunity to see what they're like as a person and how they live their life, making them more open to hearing and processing the information. We can't deny that many people would hesitate to start dating someone if they heard about a serious medical condition during the vetting process. However, once they're dating and start to develop a connection with someone who seems to be living life well, it's easier for them to see the condition as one of many elements to consider about the multi-faceted person they're dating.

    There's another advantage about disclosing this personal information after a number of dates. You're able to select the men you share it with - people with whom you're starting to feel a connection and you sense have discretion. It doesn't become common knowledge among people you meet a couple of times and decide not to continue to get to know. Although you will probably make your disclosure after you've started to feel a connection, you'll be making it before that connection is strong.

    If he decides not to continue, it will be less painful for both of you.

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    So what do you say? Be honest, and be positive. We've been out a number of times and you can see that I'm living and enjoying a rewarding, full life. But I am also managing a medical condition. Two years ago, I learned I have X. I was determined to get healthy and after a lot of treatment, I am stable and strong, and looking forward to my future. I'll always have to be on top of my health. I can understand if this is surprising to you and it's a lot to digest.

    Please ask me any questions you want, and I will answer them the best I can. You should be prepared to answer questions about how you manage your illness, what your daily routine is like, how your ability to have children may be affected, and your long terms prognosis. A man who's willing to consider your information will probably have many questions, and you may want to invite him to speak with your doctor.

    Don't be surprised if your dating partner wants time to think about whether he wants to continue dating. It's possible he'll want to keep going out while he decides. We believe that our suggestions can help you get a good start on marriage-minded dating.

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    We wish you continued good health and that you soon find a man who's right for you. She should just have a nice time on the first two dates discussing lighter subjects. If things are going well, she can then disclose the illness and if he likes her, he may decide it is not a big problem. Disclosing it first does not allow him to get to know her. Ask the important questions about diagnosis and treatment.

    People who treat these conditions successfully can make wonderful spouses. And they're likely to be more careful and more informed about their health, so they're likely to catch small problems before they become big problems. Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.